


1.

by orphan_account



Series: Purple Prose [1]
Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Multi, Purple Prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:31:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a tale of undeniable love and lust betwixt three of the Company whose deeds will be sung throughout history hereafter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1.

**Author's Note:**

> This is purple prose (bordering on badfic) as written by Ori the Scribe. The notes in parenthesis are Ori's, not my own interjections. I'm not nearly sorry enough for having written this.

Bilbo fluttered about his pantry, worrying his shining lower lip between pearly white teeth. He was so worried about being presentable to his guests that it was rocketing his stress levels to no end. The dwarves, being Nori, Dori, Ori the Fierce, Gloin, Oin, Kíli, Fíli, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, alongside an amused wizard named Gandalf. There was one dwarf missing, though the frantic hobbit was yet unawares as to his existence.

A midst the calm dining of the dwarves within the hobbit hole, Bilbo found himself enamored with a young dwarf by the name of Bofur. He batted his thick eyelashes at the very handsome and rugged dwarf and explained the doily  blushing at the dwarf's joke about "balls." (Side note: Hobbit's are delicate creatures of a softer nature, and as such, cannot abide such language.)

Things had been going well until everyone settled around a table and a resounding knock echoed throughout the spacious abode. Thorin entered with a refined grace, his robes and furs dragging along the wooden floor with a seductive _shiff_. Bilbo let out a tiny gasp, wet mouth parting to a succulent 'O' shape at the sight of the magnificent and powerful dwarf before him. 

Everyone around the table could sense the thrum of arousal that pulsed through the small frame of the hobbit man, a shiver rushing down his spine, and they shared a secret smile at their leader's luck. Thorin brushed back his mane of hair, a wild tangle of enviable black tresses, in a display of dwarven beauty and dominance and Bilbo held back a soft swoon.

Through the night, Thorin was intentionally callous to the poor, weak hobbit. He wanted to play hard to get, and it only inspired the hobbit more towards unadulterated lust for the rightful king. 

They exchanged glances across the table, and when Bofur joined in on the flirting the hobbit was overcome at the indecency of it all and swooned right to the floor (Let it be noted that this was not due to the talk of dragons). 

Thorin and Bofur carried him to his room while the rest of the dwarves went about a drinking song and more such merriment. They lay the small thing gently onto the cotton coverlet, crowding over his slight form with hungry gazes. When Bilbo awoke to find himself the center of such wonderful attentions, his face went aflame and he hid bashfully behind his hands.

"We would lay with you, hobbit," Thorin gruffed out roughly, sending shimmers of arousal through the hobbit's already weeping member.

"If you would have us," Bofur added with a smile, his mustache twitching in askance.

Bilbo stumbled over his words, face heated and body alive with new sensations. Though he was a respectable age, he was a virgin to such words and actions and unaware of what to do. "I- I- I suppose that would, uh. Be acceptable."

Their grins turned wolfish, Thorin crowding against the bed as Bofur began to undress, his one hundred percent beef thermometer bobbing in the cool Shire air once freed from it's confines. His muscles sang and danced with each movement, and Thorin's own muscles joined in with a beautiful harmony that made Bilbo shudder all over. 

His smaller, hobbit erection twitched viciously from lack of attention. "Thorin, I-"

He silenced the small creature with a kiss. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

(It should be noted that the scribe in charge of writing this particular tale is not of age to be writing such scenes as they happened hereafter, and that his older brother Dori found this particular page and was absolutely beside himself in outrage.)

**Author's Note:**

> Note: none of this actually happened. This is pretty much Ori's "fanfiction" journal, as opposed to the official one he'd submit to archives.


End file.
